Milestones in Internetland

I always feel a little offended when I hear experts talk about how my generation is the "Everybody Wins" generation. You know, every kid gets a trophy, a ribbon, a little certificate that says "You're a winner because you tried." I'm always like, "Hell NAH! I'm a winner because I'm the best! There's no faux congratulations for me!"

Until I saw this message from Gmail:

Congratulations on creating your brand new Gmail address,
awesomeandfabulous[at]gmail.com!

Wait a minute.

Gmail's giving me confetti and glitter because I signed up for an addy?

In fact, I didn't even sign up for an addy! Soraya did! She just tacked my e-mail on the sign-up form so I'd get a notification too.

And yet, I'm still congratulated. It makes me wonder why Google didn't send me balloons for creating this blog. (And if you know my history with blogs, you'd know I've earned a shitload of balloons.)

Alas, for all those quack psychiatrists who say that me and every other 20-something have become a generation wimps because we're coddled to and congratulated for even the most insipid of achievements...

... you're right.

*hangs head*

Which Huxtable Are You?

So, awhile back, during episode six of the second season of Mad Men, Paul proposed an idea: that all women were either a Jackie or a Marilyn. I don't want to get into the whole virgin/whore dichotomy conversation.

Not right now, anyway.

But I thought about it when Veronica and I were watching The Cosby Show late one night at The Basement. Particularly with all the discussion of Michelle Obama basically being a 2008 version of Claire Huxtable.

Which Huxtable are you?

"I thought everyone wanted to be Claire," Veronica said.

I shook my head. I mean, Claire's cool and all, but Claire's got five kids. I think I'd maybe be Claire before Claire met Cliff.

So I thought a little more, and basically decided, after some contemplation, that I was Rudy. Initially, I thought I was an amalgam of Vanessa and Denise, but nah, I'm Rudy.

By the time Rudy grew up a bit from the cute little girl who started the show, she had quite the personality. I think she was quite the feminist badass. Because Rudy had no problem putting "Buuuuuuuud" in his place when he said some bogus mess about how women were only good for housework.

But you know, I think Cliff was pretty much exactly the sort of man Linda Hirshman proposed women should get with in Get To Work in order to you know, preserve having a life.

Except, I don't know any Cliffs. Seriously.

Do you?

Politcal Hitman Confesses, Repents; Witnesses Report Crossed Fingers

It's good to know that some people have a conscience.

Kinda.

From The Daily Beast:

Roger Stone is one of the last guys on Earth one would expect to feel guilty over an episode of rough and tumble politicking. As a self-admitted hit man for the GOP, Stone has had a hand in everything from Nixon's dirty tricks to Eliot Spitzer's resignation to spreading discredited rumors of a Michelle Obama “whitey” tape during the 2008 Democratic primaries....

The capstone of Stone’s career, at least in terms of results, was the “Brooks Brothers riot” of the 2000 election recount. This was when a Stone-led squad of pro-Bush protestors stormed the Miami-Dade County election board, stopping the recount and advancing then-Governor George W. Bush one step closer to the White House. Though he is quick to rebut GOP operatives who seek to minimize his role in the recount, Stone lately has been having second thoughts about what happened in Florida.

Stone, in fact, shared those second thoughts over a slice of pizza:

"When I look at those double-page New York Times spreads of all the individual pictures of people who have been killed [in Iraq], I got to think, 'Maybe there wouldn't have been a war if I hadn't gone to Miami-Dade. Maybe there hadn't have been, in my view, an unjustified war if Bush hadn't become president.' It's very disturbing to me."

Aww. The hack with the heart of gold. I gotta say, no matter how hack-y you are, I'm a sucker for a good redemption story. Until...

Stone still offers his services as a no-holds-barred strategist to domestic and foreign politicians alike, and claims his client list is full.

Oh. Well... so much for that.

Sleep tight, Rog.

Are You Gonna Eat Me Too?

Reason #756 why I'd rather opt out.

Kay S. Hymowitz on "Dating Darwism":

We are animals, the new Darwinians seem to say; get used to it. They define manhood as alpha-style toughness and unsentimental promiscuity. And in that spirit, they cultivate manipulation, calculation, and naked (in both the literal and metaphorical sense) self-interest. “Nature doesn’t care about hurting people’s feelings,” explains dating coach Mike Pilinski. “It cares ONLY about reproductive success.”

The argument is that men have been driven to this point because of women's liberation. Basically, now that women are more or less considered equals in society, the old school mores of dating and courtship have gone out the window. Women have different (and differing) expectations now, and instead of trying to navigate this shift in the dating scene, some guys are simply lashing back -- and actively becoming assholes about it.

It sounds extreme... but then it doesn't. Certainly if you have male friends. Read the article and you'll probably recognize more than a few examples.

Salon's take on it makes me feel a little better, pointing out just how insipid this whole approach is:

..."Dating Darwinism" suggests that all young men want is to successfully spread their seed -- but something tells me that if they have to defensively put on the tough guy act in the first place, that isn't at all the case.

My take: Instead of declaring war, just do you. Be honest with what you want and what you're willing to give to get it, and if someone likes it, good. If not... give 'em rocks to kick. (And that goes for guys AND girls.)

Then again, like my dad always says... common sense ain't all that common.

*shrug*

Where's the Randomness?!

I have found none today.

What the hell gives?



Pfffft.

Making the Blog: "...And I Fry a Mean Chicken, Too."

Soraya was updating our blog roll (over there --> to the right... make sure to check it out later), when she turned to ask me a question.

"I've got Feministing, Racialicious and Salon up here... what else do you read?"

"They're all listed on my blog," I said. Then I realized I needed to warn her. "Oh yeah... They're all hair, beauty and fashion blogs."

That's when I got it. The Soraya Side-Eye. Punctuated with: "...I mean stuff that's relevant."

Well, I never! "How is it not relevant?!" I demanded to know. "Being fly is part of being Awesome & Fabulous!, is it not?"

She cocked her head, half in agreement, half in knowing I wasn't going to budge on my position, and relented. (That's when we decided to include our own personal blog rolls.)

The one thing I've noticed as I've gone through these past years exploring the online feminist community is that we can talk about a lot of things... but we don't talk about being pretty. As if there's some kind of unspoken rule that talking about your love for lipglass or passion for party dresses makes you a less serious, more superficial person. And it's always a bit of a downer for me because, well... I like to look cute.

But who ever said you can't be groundbreaking and gorgeous at the same time? I have a personal admiration for women who do the damn thing AND look good while doing it (i.e. Fairy Fly Mommy Michelle and former Lehman Brothers CFO Erin Callan). And I see nothing wrong with taking pride in how you present yourself to the world, just as much as you take pride in the work you do for the world.

Neither does Robin Givhan. From her coverage of Glamour's Woman of the Year Awards:

...the subtext running through each award is the notion that style, glamour, fashion and all its variations can be part of a serious life. One would think that such a declaration would be unnecessary. But we remain a culture that is quick to declare any conversation about style as shallow, any acknowledgment of a woman's appearance as sexist and any attention to the semiotics of attire as undignified.

So although the Women of the Year awards are meant to be a celebration of accomplishment, not style, the fact that they are given out under the auspices of Glamour serves as a license for serious women to mention the unmentionable: Fashion can be fun, confidence-building, lucrative and symbolic.

So... see Soraya? Fashion and beauty are very much relevant. Ain't nothing wrong with a woman wanting to be awesome... AND look fabulous at the same time.

(Nah, nah nah, boo boo.)

Just Take a Deep Breath, and Step Away From the Diddy

Dear Cassie,

It's time to grow a pair.

So, I'm not even sure why this is labeled as a blind item, because even no-seeing, dead-ass Ray Charles can tell that this is so obviously about you.

Look. We know you're young. But it's 2008, and it's time for you to stand up for yourself. Yes, to the almighty Diddy. Because while you might be sporting a necklace or a bracelet worth more than the last appraisal on my parent's house, you're missing something infinitely more priceless: your self respect.

We've already seen the items about how he wants an open relationship and you don't. About how you wanted to tell the world about the two of you and he was content to keep it on the DL.

Sweetheart, have you heard of Kim Porter, also known as disaffected perpetually ticked off Baby Mama Numero Uno? As much as you want to believe you're different from any of his other PYTs, you're not. Diddy might have you thinking you're special, but you're not that special. And this is coming from a woman who generally respects the Diddy and likes to speak well of him, seeing as how we share an alma mater.

But know this: right now, you're not much more than a doormat. And eventually, doormats get kicked to the curb.

Sez Vee: A lot of women who are praised for their looks and a lot of times, they think that's all they need to get by. You get people's attention with it. You might be able to catch a man, but you don't know how to stand on anything else besides how you look.